A little honest straight talk....

Hello ladies, today I am going to talk about something that has been a sore subject to me for almost 40 yrs. The battle to control my weight. I was raised poor as I'm sure most of you know by now, There were times when we lived in New Orleans, I was under 6, that we did not know if we would have anything to eat for supper or if we would go to bed hungry. Most of the time we did have food, Daddy would come home sober enough to give Mom money for groceries but she had to make it last, so we got very little more than the bare necessities . When we returned to MS Momma struggled to support us, we always had food, nothing extra, no treats. I can remember the first coke I ever had...lol..it was so good. When Mom married our Step-Father money for food was no problem and we finally ate good, but the damage had been done to my small child's mind, When I got married I was determined never to do without or let my kids do without. So my grocery bill always included all the little treats I never had as a child, cookies, candy, cokes, good old southern fried food, (my favorite is fried chicken, I never knew there was anything but the tail end of the chicken when I was little, that's all that was left when my Uncle and cousins came for Sunday dinner and that was the only time Granny would fry a chicken)....fresh fruits...oh my, a banana was like a gift from God...needless to say I started gaining from that little 110 lbs girl Charles married to a lady that had to battle her weight from then on, even though I knew I would have extras anytime I wanted them, I would sometimes sit down and eat a whole bag of cookies at a time, it was like, if I didn't eat it I might never get it again.. I also couldn't stand to see food go to waste, we always had to clean our plates....so I became the human garbage disposal, anything left on Charles' or the kids' plate I ate instead of throwing it out. I was also a stress eater. Raising 3 boys can be quite stressful. And of course the more weight I gained the more stressed I became and the cycle continued.

I managed to keep my weight to a decent level until I had my 5 knee surgeries in 2000-2001..being bed ridden for 6 mos and not being able to exercise or do much walking I really packed the weight on.

When I tried to diet for my health's sake, I couldn't stick to it..so I finally just said I am meant to be fat, so fat I will be and tried to laugh and joke about it, but inside I cried every time I looked in the mirror. I cried every time one of the boys would say Mom I love you no matter how big you get, but I want you around for along time....

But the day My Connorman, who was 10 told me "Granny you need to lose some weight, I want you to be around to be Granny to my kids one day", well it really hit home.

I tried weight watcher (I lose 30 lbs, but gained it and 20 more back with in 2 mos) and just cutting back, but no matter how I tried I couldn't stay on a diet, they just didn't work, I would feel like I was starving and would crave certain foods...
I decided to go to a Dr to find out what was wrong, why I was always hungry and why I was always tired. A couple even told me I was tired because I was so obese that it was to hard on my heart. Then they would say lose weight...WHAT DO THEY THINK I'D BEEN TRYING TO DO. I NEEDED HELP. Finally I went to one Dr who suggested checking my Thyroid with a new test, and finally it showed that my thyroid only functioned 1/2 the time. When we found out I had a messed up thyroid I hate to admit but I was so happy, happy to have a health problem? No, not really, just happy to know there was help for me and a reason I couldn't lose. I started taking medicine in May.

In July I decided to go on Nutrisystem, to my amazement the weight came off and I had no problem staying on it, I have lost 56lbs. to date.

In Dec I was down 48 lbs and decided to just try to do it myself, I know what to eat and what not to eat and in the last 2 mos I've lost 8 lbs. I am thinking about going back on Nutri to loss the other 70 lbs and then will keep it off, I know now I can do it.

Nutri is a little expensive but time I average it against my food bill before..... it is actually cheaper. I pay $289.00 a month for Nutri and then my salad and veggie, along with just buying for my DH, we come out cheaper. Plus I feel so much better, I am able to do so much that I wasn't able to do before. I enjoy my trips and walking without getting tired and having to rest.

The picture on the right is me at my top weight of 280 lbs. in July and the picture on the left is one taken today at 224, I hope by my Anniversary in Aug. I will be back down to my ideal weight of 150. I know I can do it, now.

I have realized that the birds and puppies love the scraps that's left as much as me and it is alot better for them than me...lol...and that bag of cookies isn't going to vanish over night and will last for a couple of weeks, with me eating 1 at a time or 1 each day.

I felt so proud when I read my Keifer's Facebook page one day right after Christmas. He was answering those questions you can answer about people you know...the question was, if you had to describe Marjorie Smith in 1 word what would it be? His answer BEAUTIFUL. And he posted on my page how proud he was of me...
I can see the pride in DH eyes when he sees me. He told me the other night he felt like he had his girlfriend from 49 years ago back...

I hope I have answered some of the questions that some have been asking me.

I plan on staying healthy and keeping it off, I can do it this time, I know I can.