Molly's Country Memories

Molly's Country Memories

The memories and happening in the everyday life of a country girl

Sunday, February 28, 2010

A little honest straight talk....

Hello ladies, today I am going to talk about something that has been a sore subject to me for almost 40 yrs. The battle to control my weight. I was raised poor as I'm sure most of you know by now, There were times when we lived in New Orleans, I was under 6, that we did not know if we would have anything to eat for supper or if we would go to bed hungry. Most of the time we did have food, Daddy would come home sober enough to give Mom money for groceries but she had to make it last, so we got very little more than the bare necessities . When we returned to MS Momma struggled to support us, we always had food, nothing extra, no treats. I can remember the first coke I ever had...lol..it was so good. When Mom married our Step-Father money for food was no problem and we finally ate good, but the damage had been done to my small child's mind, When I got married I was determined never to do without or let my kids do without. So my grocery bill always included all the little treats I never had as a child, cookies, candy, cokes, good old southern fried food, (my favorite is fried chicken, I never knew there was anything but the tail end of the chicken when I was little, that's all that was left when my Uncle and cousins came for Sunday dinner and that was the only time Granny would fry a chicken)....fresh fruits...oh my, a banana was like a gift from God...needless to say I started gaining from that little 110 lbs girl Charles married to a lady that had to battle her weight from then on, even though I knew I would have extras anytime I wanted them, I would sometimes sit down and eat a whole bag of cookies at a time, it was like, if I didn't eat it I might never get it again.. I also couldn't stand to see food go to waste, we always had to clean our plates....so I became the human garbage disposal, anything left on Charles' or the kids' plate I ate instead of throwing it out. I was also a stress eater. Raising 3 boys can be quite stressful. And of course the more weight I gained the more stressed I became and the cycle continued.
I managed to keep my weight to a decent level until I had my 5 knee surgeries in 2000-2001..being bed ridden for 6 mos and not being able to exercise or do much walking I really packed the weight on.
When I tried to diet for my health's sake, I couldn't stick to it..so I finally just said I am meant to be fat, so fat I will be and tried to laugh and joke about it, but inside I cried every time I looked in the mirror. I cried every time one of the boys would say Mom I love you no matter how big you get, but I want you around for along time....
But the day My Connorman, who was 10 told me "Granny you need to lose some weight, I want you to be around to be Granny to my kids one day", well it really hit home.
I tried weight watcher (I lose 30 lbs, but gained it and 20 more back with in 2 mos) and just cutting back, but no matter how I tried I couldn't stay on a diet, they just didn't work, I would feel like I was starving and would crave certain foods...
I decided to go to a Dr to find out what was wrong, why I was always hungry and why I was always tired. A couple even told me I was tired because I was so obese that it was to hard on my heart. Then they would say lose weight...WHAT DO THEY THINK I'D BEEN TRYING TO DO. I NEEDED HELP. Finally I went to one Dr who suggested checking my Thyroid with a new test, and finally it showed that my thyroid only functioned 1/2 the time. When we found out I had a messed up thyroid I hate to admit but I was so happy, happy to have a health problem? No, not really, just happy to know there was help for me and a reason I couldn't lose. I started taking medicine in May.
In July I decided to go on Nutrisystem, to my amazement the weight came off and I had no problem staying on it, I have lost 56lbs. to date.
In Dec I was down 48 lbs and decided to just try to do it myself, I know what to eat and what not to eat and in the last 2 mos I've lost 8 lbs. I am thinking about going back on Nutri to loss the other 70 lbs and then will keep it off, I know now I can do it.
Nutri is a little expensive but time I average it against my food bill before..... it is actually cheaper. I pay $289.00 a month for Nutri and then my salad and veggie, along with just buying for my DH, we come out cheaper. Plus I feel so much better, I am able to do so much that I wasn't able to do before. I enjoy my trips and walking without getting tired and having to rest.
The picture on the right is me at my top weight of 280 lbs. in July and the picture on the left is one taken today at 224, I hope by my Anniversary in Aug. I will be back down to my ideal weight of 150. I know I can do it, now.
I have realized that the birds and puppies love the scraps that's left as much as me and it is alot better for them than me...lol...and that bag of cookies isn't going to vanish over night and will last for a couple of weeks, with me eating 1 at a time or 1 each day.
I felt so proud when I read my Keifer's Facebook page one day right after Christmas. He was answering those questions you can answer about people you know...the question was, if you had to describe Marjorie Smith in 1 word what would it be? His answer BEAUTIFUL. And he posted on my page how proud he was of me...
I can see the pride in DH eyes when he sees me. He told me the other night he felt like he had his girlfriend from 49 years ago back...
I hope I have answered some of the questions that some have been asking me.
I plan on staying healthy and keeping it off, I can do it this time, I know I can.

18 comments:

  1. Molly... I don't post or comment during Lent... however, this post deserves comment. I am so proud of you. Not only for losing the weight you've lost so far, but for talking about your life and struggle with weight in such an honest and straight forward way. I've battled the bulge myself for most of my adult life, and I know just how difficult it can be. Good for you Molly Girl! If you need a cheerleader... I'm here... if you fall off the wagon...let me know. I'll help you get back up on it!

    God Bless you Molly... You can do it! Blessings. Dixie

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  2. This was such an inspirational post Molly. Thank you for sharing your personal thoughts and life with us.

    I am sooo proud of you and happy for your success. It's not easy losing weight, especially the amount you've been able to lose. Congratulations and keep up the good work.

    I'm so happy for your husband too, he's got his girlfriend back!

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  3. Very good!! Keep up the hard work, the more you lose the better you will feel, the better you feel, the more you will lose!!

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  4. Congratulations and keep up the good work.

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  5. Molly,
    Congratulations on your hard work. Keep up the great work. Jude

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  6. Great to hear a success story!!! I heard that some weight loss solutions are covered by insurance - wonder if that program is? Any rate - good for you - you look wonderful!!!

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  7. Molly, I'm so proud of you and applaud your wonderful success!! Bless you for sharing your real struggles and your early childhood. You should be really proud, not only of your weight loss, but on the very talented lady you have become!!! It seems I have yo-yoed back and forth gaining and losing the same 25 pounds over the span of my life, so I understand some of your trials and temptations!
    Love and blessings for your continued success!
    Dorothy

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  8. Congrats on all the hard work and determination that you've acquired over this quest. You look terrific, and so much younger! You look so much like the old photograph on the wall beside you in your after pic.
    I think, that for gals like us, losing weight is a forever committment. You've come this far...and really, have added years and vitality to your life...the biggest gift to yourself, your family, and friends.

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  9. Molly, I'm so proud of you. What a great achievement. I'm trying to lose weight too. I've lost 6 lb's in a month. I have a weight loss goal of 25 1/2 total.

    No, that won't put me where those stupid charts say I need to be. But, it put's me at a great weight for my own body.

    Keep up the good work!!! You are doing fantastic!

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  10. The picture over my desk, is of my Mom, everyone always said I looked like her, but I couldn't see it until now. I thought the same thing when I saw this picture, now much I looked like her picture.
    I think I have always know why I was fat, but it is hard to admit you are a glutton, I have come to admit that the old fear of not having anything like candy and treats or even just food at times....is what drove me to eat until it was gone.
    I remember when I was 12 and we moved to Baton Rouge, I met a little girl that lived across the Highway and she had 3 smaller brothers and Sisters, that Easter I'd never seen so much candy, even my friend had a basket full. I was so envious, but when her Mom asked me about what the Easter bunny brought me, I just told her I was too old for such and since I was the baby Momma didn't buy anything. I didn't want anyone to know we couldn't afford it. And even refused it when she offered me some of hers. I promised myself, my kids would never do without the little things. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame Momma, she did the best she could and she just never had it to do with.
    LOL, I still fix all my boys an Easter Basket and they are 46, 42 and 30.
    Keifer my oldest Grandson, told his friends, if you go to my Granny's house you better go hungry cause she's going to make sure your full before you leave...
    Isn't it amazing the baggage children bring into adulthood with them.

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  11. Oh Molly, your post made me cry. People never know what burdens others carry from long ago. I never give a care for someone's weight other than to worry about their health. You are beautiful now, but I think you are beautiful at any weight. But glad you are losing for your heart and health. It is very had and YOU DONE GOOD.

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  12. Molly you are doing great with your weightloss plan. It was good to hear about your success with NutriSystem, as I have thought about it myself. (My appetite seems to have doubled since I hit my 50's, though thyroid cancer 8 years ago didn't help.:<) Thanks for this glimpse into your life. Happy A-Z Monday.

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  13. Congratulations Molly. That is wonderful! You keep up the good work girl. With your positive attitude you'll reach your goal.

    And by the way, you look great!

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  14. You know, my favorite thing about blogging is seeing how open and honest we can be and our friends are right there, offering their sweet support. I went through this when I recently opened up about the foreclosure on our home. I was scared to post about it and it turned out to be such an uplifting experience.

    You are AMAZING! I know how hard it is to get started and honey, you're well on your way to your goal weight. Your openness will encourage those who are in the same place you were and know that they can do it to. Attitude is everything!

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  15. Oh Molly, you should be so proud of yourself.
    My best to you for continued success!

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  16. Congratulations, Molly.
    I am new here, but I, too, am struggling with the weight issue. Doctors are on my case and I know I need to loose weight, but can't seem to do it for many reasons.
    You have given me the idea that I might need to try Nutri and see if it works for me.
    Thanks for being so open about a subject most women are dealing with at this time.

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  17. Good on ya Marjorie. Thank you for sharing your story.

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Little sweet memories whispered..