Molly's Country Memories

Molly's Country Memories

The memories and happening in the everyday life of a country girl

Sunday, April 25, 2010

You know....

 OK, I am sorry if I offend anyone, but this made me smile..could be some of these apply to my Church...lol... God loves a cheerful heart....

You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
   

1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...

The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...

People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...

When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys and two women stand up.

4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of" (Love it!)

6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...

The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...

In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
 

8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...

People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...

The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized " Wheeling " washtub. ( we used the Creek behind the Church for years)

10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ....

The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...

The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.

12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ..

Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.

13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...

The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
 

14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...

The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...

"Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.

16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if ...

The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear".

God Bless
and don't fergit ta say yer prayer

6 comments:

  1. I like the one that says a his and her truck! Quite true, thanks for the laughs. Sandie

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  2. Too funny. All of them. Thanks for sharing.

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  3. Those are funny Molly! I needed a good laugh!

    Hugs,
    Angela

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  4. Thanks for providing us knowledge about the different strategies .....it helps us to develop a better culture in organization.Fork Level switch

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Little sweet memories whispered..