Molly's Country Memories

Molly's Country Memories

The memories and happening in the everyday life of a country girl

Saturday, October 24, 2009

To prove Christians have a sense of Humor....

I received this in an E-Mail and just loved it....

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:


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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes snacks and meals.

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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies , don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again , ' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it , we have a nursery downstairs.

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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight , the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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Scouts are saving aluminium cans , bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you will want remembered.

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The church will host an evening of fine dining , super entertainment and gracious hostility.

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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge so up yours.'

8 comments:

  1. A great way to start the day off! Hiya Molly!

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  2. Very funny. Thanks for turning my hum drum Saturday into smiles!!!!!!

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  3. LOL!!! Molly, I just left a comment on another blog about how we don't communicate, then came here to read this! What a hoot! I'm still laughing...soooooooooo funny! Thanks for proving that we do, indeed, have a great sense of humor. Christians definiely have a sense of humor...we were created to laugh and appreciate all of God's gifts, including funny stories!
    Blessings,
    Mary

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  4. Molly, you make me chuckle out loud!!

    Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

    Gotta go now and find somebody to say "Hell" to.

    rachel

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  5. OMG....those were funny!! I loved reading the bulletin years past when little slip ups were a weekly and humorous event. Thank God for spell check and grammar..!!

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  6. haha! I was cracking up as I sit here by myself!!! Love these!

    Blessings & Aloha!

    (finally getting some blog reading done :o)

    And I have a very SWEET award (aka blog hug) to pass on to you, dear friend :o) And it is one that you dont have yet :o) I do appreciate you coming by and appreciate your sweet comments!

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Little sweet memories whispered..