Molly's Country Memories

Molly's Country Memories

The memories and happening in the everyday life of a country girl

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Love thy Enemies

My friend Chatty Crone posted a blog post Sat that really got me to thinking, you can read the whole post here.
It starts with this quote, 
Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.- Og Mandino
Great challenge. I find it is easy (or it is for me) to treat people you like or don't know with kindness, but more of a challenge to do the same for someone who hurt you or did you wrong.
In my life I have had a lot of challenges and reasons I felt like to hate a certain person, and I'm sure you all have too...
My Daddy for 1, for what he did to my Mom and the way he left us girls. the pain and sadness and loss we felt should have left us bitter,..Mom had a hard life she could have hated him and blamed him for every bad thing that happened in our life and taught us to hate him, but she never did, she refused to let anyone talk bad about him in front of us, she always said no matter what, he was our Daddy and we needed to make up our own mind about him. In the end before he died he was a sad lonely old man. I believe he received his punishment and I never had to be ashamed for anything I said or did to him. I could only pity him.
My Granny, because of her mean spirit and hate for my Sisters and I and her jealousy of my Granddaddy's love for my Mom. Granny was a true example of a person who let hate consume them, the loss of 4 baby boys before they had a chance to live turned her cold and bitter. She resented the fact that Mom the only girl survived when her precious baby boys didn't. Instead of being thankful that she had 3 living children she hated everybody except her youngest son.
I tell you about these to say that it would have been so easy for me to hate and blame my short comings on others, but I find and truly believe that I alone am responsible for what I do and how I turned out. 
The Bible says Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I try, but no one is perfect, there are times I have been angry and wanted to tell so and so off and at times have, I have always had a terrible temper and for years never tried to control it, if I thought it I said it. I am sure I have hurt my share of people. I am learning to control my temper but I realize even saying all that, I have never really let hate for anyone consume me. I can have  words with someone one day and not be ashamed to ask for forgiveness the next or to give forgiveness when someone hurts me weather they ask for it or not. 
My DH on the other hand is not a forgiving person, once someone hurts him real or perceived he never forgives, he sadly still holds grunges against people he went to school with who "did something to hurt his feeling" 50 yrs ago. and he is a very unhappy person consumed by hate..
I am a happier person because hate didn't consume me.. I thank God my Mom never was a hate filled person, she taught me that when you let hate consume you, you are the loser not the other way around. She said when someone hurts you smile and move on.....her favorite saying was
It's easy to hate, hold a grudge and get even.. It takes Great Strength to Forgive, Let Go and Move On.
At work I had several people that made my life miserable, really treated me and most other co-workers horribly. Now when I see them I speak and act like nothing ever happened and DH ask "how can you talk to that SOB, I'd walk by or tell them to KMB", I say why, it takes less energy to smile then it does to get all blown up and mad and ruin MY day by thinking about the past, cause I'm sure my being mad will not ruin their day at all..
I pray everyday that God continues to give me strength to have a forgiving heart..I wish we could all be more forgiving. I'm not saying there is never a reason to get upset or angry, but I pray we can all find it in our hearts to move on and not hold a grudge...for our own sake.
May you all have a happy and hate free day. And I hope I don't offend anyone with my post.


  1. No offense here Molly. Your 1st paragraph about your Dad could be a cookie cutter for my/our life. When my father died, my Mom asked me to forgive him. I told her I couldn't. He was the adult and he knew what he did. I didn't tell her I hated him. But, I told her I could never love him or ever forgive him.

    I'm sorry about your granny. That's sad that you had so much anguish as a child.

    I really also hate hearing that your DH is such an unhappy person. I was married to someone who was like that, but have freed myself from him. I am now with a happy, loving man and it has changed my life.

    You are a good person and you have the right attitude. Take care,

  2. Molly,

    I can just feel your sweet spirit in your words, and this is one of the most eloquently beautiful sermons I've ever heard or read.

    Thank you for posting this today---I know it will touch a lot of hearts and lives.


  3. Life is too short to let hate grab a hold on your life. I always think to myself, if the world ends tomorrow, will what just happened to me really make a difference? It's a good thing to forgive and forget. Those bad things and bad feelings won't really matter in eternity. Kindness matters.

  4. Holly, I'm so sorry you had to deal with such hatred. But, I'm grateful you didn't dwell in it and moved forward. It's easy to see you are a beautiful person just by your words and I truly missed visiting you.

  5. Oh dear Molly - we are such kindred spirits,

    My dad too was like that - he did change when he suffered a major heart attack in his 70's - I think it was a gift from God - his last chance.

    There are so many more things we have in common.

    What a brave woman to post this post.

    I agree - that is what my blog is kind of about - that life is a choice. We can CHOOSE to forgive or harbor hate.

    It isn't easy and it is easier to forgive people who really love us - it takes hard work to forgive the ones that have caused us so much pain.

    Love sandie

  6. I agree with you about the energy wasted on hateful people, but I recently had to let go of someone I thought loved me and I loved her, but it had gotten to the point where it was not worth the pain and anguish to have her in my life.....and I will not take one more second to let her know this....I am moving on, even tho' it cost me my only brother. My heart could take no more....

  7. I think this is all definately good stuff. We know we need to forgive and treat people well but I think it takes literally a lifetime to achieve.
    In my life I have had alot of people stomp on my and after I forgive them, by golly, they do it again and sometimes worse.
    It's a hard trial.


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