Wednesday, February 18, 2009

You know your from the South if you know:


Here is a little letter I received from a Southern friend living in New York, I couldn't help but laugh, cause it is so true...Hope you enjoy reading a little about our South
1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live inMISSISSIPPI.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in MISSISSIPPI plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
5. Onced and twiced are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
7. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
8.. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only dinner and then there is supper.
10. Ice tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
11. Backards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
12. Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you' re done or it's too dark to see.
14. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.

YOU KNOW YOUR FROM MISSISSIPPI IF:
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
3. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: "I'm fixin to go to the store "
4. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
5. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked
6. You know what a "DAWG" is.
7. You carry jumper cables in your car...for your OWN car.
8. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.
9. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
10. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
11. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm".
12. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.
13. You know whether another MISSISSIPIAN is from HATTIESBURG, north or south as soon as they open their mouth.
14. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as"goin' Wal-martin" or off to "Wally World"....Mall Mart
15. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.
16. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop...it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke you want?"
17. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
18. We don't need no stinking driver's ed....if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.
You go to Gulf Shores every summer. You would much rather visit Florida than California.
You've said "fixin' to," "might could," or "use ta could" during the last week.
You aren't surprised to find rental movies, groceries, ammunition and bait all in the same store. Asian food is always "CHINESE" regardless of the fact that it may actually be Korean or Japanese or Thai.
You know what "cow tipping" is.
You know the difference between redneck, hillbilly, and southerner.
You think everybody from the north has an accent.
Y'all is a word.
If a single snowflake falls, the town is paralyzed for three days, and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week. All grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.
If there is a remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on the corner selling "I survived the blizzard" tee-shirts, not to mention the fact that all schools will close at the slightest possible chance of snow.
Your directions include "when you see the Waffle House" or "turn on the dirt road."
You say "sir" and "ma'am" if there's even a chance someone is even thiry seconds older than you.
There is nothing but country on the radio.
.Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :"Y'all come back!""Well, bless your heart.""Drop by when you can.""How's your Momma and them?"
Southern women know their vacation spots: The beach, The rivuh, The crick
Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August: Colorful hi-heel sandals Strapless sun dresses Iced sweet tea with mint or lemon
Southern women know everybody's first name: Honey, Darlin', Shugah
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts: Fried Green Tomatoes, Driving Miss Daisy, Steel Magnolias, Gone With The Wind
Southern women know their religions: Baptist, Methodist, Football
Southern women know their country breakfasts: Red-eye gravy, Grits, Eggs, Country ham, Mouth-watering homemade biscuits, with momma's homemade jelly or fig preserves
Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm: Chawl'stn, S'vanah, Foat Wuth, N'awlins, Addlanna
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:Men in uniform, Men in tuxedos, Rhett Butler
Southern girls know their prime real estate: The Mall, The Country Club, The Beauty Salon
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins: Having bad hair and nails, Having bad manners, Cooking bad food
Southernisms:
Only southerners know the difference between a "hissy fit" and a "conniption fit." And we know you don't HAVE them, you PITCH them.
Even southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granulated sweet substance that's sittin' pretty in a bowl on the table.
All southerners know what "by and by" is. They may not use the term, but are very comfortable with the concept.
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk or skim milk or low fat milk!
I hope you enjoyed these...

5 comments:

  1. Molly, This is so funny and true! Betsy will like this, too.

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  2. Haw haw...I recognized all of those, Molly!!! We said "onecet" and "twicet" too...also said "warsh and rinch"...we would "cut on" the light with the switch if there wasn't (warn't) a button to mash...we also said strange Old English expressions, such as "It were be a shame" if I "recollect" rightly...LOL...we also knew what "hoppin' John" is...ate one million corn pones by the time we were grown...if you played with a grasshopper it would "spit tobaccy" on you and stain yer dress...and then Mama would tell you to get a switch and yes, yer legs would get a switchin...

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  3. Also don't play with frogs cause they will pee on you and cause you to have warts...

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  4. Very enlightening! Enjoyed reading those! I don't know about the frogs causing warts, but they WILL PEE on you! ;)

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  5. I was looking for uses of the word "onecet" and found your page. While I'm not southern, one of my most favorite songs of all times is Stars on the Water. I could use a few nights like he sings about.
    Thanks for using it first, even though Fats Domino is older than Rodney Crowell!
    Corey Cate
    Livermore CA

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Little sweet memories whispered..